Do You Believe In Unconditional Love...
- Jeanie HAN
- Jan 8, 2019
- 2 min read
Updated: Jan 9, 2019
Unconditional LOVE, with Love, is a concept on its own, getting thrown around alot. The word, LOVE, it's superficial and this word has been overused.
When it comes to Unconditional love, it's even more of a sensitive subject. I find when people find someone that they really love, they start to tell each other things like 'I love You unconditionally.'
For me, in intimate relationships, unconditional love does not really exist. (Giggling, some of you might have stopped reading).
Let me explain that.
I'm not someone who thinks that it doesn't exist, i actually don't want to believe 'this concept' exist. I think if unconditional love exists existed, it would be a bad thing. The whole point of an intimate relationship is spending your life with someone that you have a huge connection with and someone who really tries for you-a team mate. For me, a successful relationship is two people work together as a team, we look after each other, we nurture each other, we are always there for each other-therefore it's a team, two people that can count on each other every day. To me, this idea does not fit with 'Unconditional love'.
Unconditional love, is no matter whatever the other people do to you, you would still love them. You will still be in that same place with them, you will still be committed to them. I have never experienced or witnessed a relationship like that, a relationship that love was 100% unconditional where no matter what the other people did to each other, they stay together.
Some of you might say, I left him because I could not be with him but i still love him-Well, it's kind of a conditional love because you left him. You might still love him underneath, but you do not love him enough to stay. Maybe they have done something wrong; If someone has cheated on you everyday for the rest of your life, could you unconditionally love them? Would you still be there?
I don't think so. Therefore Unconditional love in that sense seems like a prison- No matter what someone did to you, you still have to stay there.
Another example is, In abusive marriages, if a man is being abusive to the woman, would you expect her to love him unconditionally? If she decide to stay, it would be painful to see how she lives.
To me, this concept makes people feel bad to leave the relationship. The notion of romance is unconditional love, however relationship like that is not romantic anymore.
In a romantic relationship, for me, is when people never stop to impress each other. 'How can i surprise him today? ' 'What's my partner doing to contribute to this relationship? '
Think about how two of you fell in love at the first place?
Think again...
Now, you know...
It's actually all based on conditions, (appearance, personality etc), then you love them unconditionally!
What if they stopped trying, what if they changed in the relationship? The conditions are no longer there, therefore unconditional love does not exist.
Please Please let me know what you think. I would love to see your comments on this!
NAMASTE XXX
Jeanie
Hi Jeanie,
This is such an intriguing read! You’ve brought up some strong arguments, and I really respect how much thought you’ve put into this. That said, I hope you don’t mind if I challenge a few of your ideas—it’s all in the spirit of healthy discussion!
You mention that unconditional love doesn’t really exist in intimate relationships, and while I see where you’re coming from, I wonder if there’s another way to look at it. Could unconditional love be less about tolerating harmful behavior (like cheating or abuse) and more about having a deep, enduring affection for someone, even if the relationship changes?
For example, what about parents who love their children unconditionally? They might set boundaries and discipline…